If cannabis is a regular part of your daily routine, we’re guessing you love it. It’s uplifting, it’s relaxing, and it makes things better. But, sometimes, it can be a lot of hassle. These stoner problems may come with the territory, but that doesn’t mean they don’t suck.
Here are ten of the most common stoner problems and how to fix them.
10 Stoner Problems and Solutions
1. You ran out of cannabis
Other than the obvious solution of making a trip to your favorite Los Angeles dispensary, there are some ways to stretch your cannabis stash and get more out of each hit. Start by eating mangoes about 45 minutes to an hour before you sesh, as these contain the terpene myrcene. This will make you higher, for longer. Then separate your stash out into smaller jars. Not only will this help you keep better track of how much you’re smoking, but it will also help keep your bud fresh for longer. There will be less airspace between the nugs in the smaller jars, so there will be less oxidation. Finally, top your bowls with kief for more powerful hits.
2. You have cannabis, but nothing to smoke from
We’ve all been there. You forget to bring your bong or pipe to a sesh – or worse, your only piece falls to the ground and shatters into a million pieces. Now, what are you going to do? Don’t fret. It’s time to go back to some classic smoking solutions – handmade pipes.
Soda Can Pipe
This is an easy one. Simply rinse the can with warm water and then let dry. Use your thumb to dent the side of the can, opposite from the side you’ll be smoking from. Use a safety pin or a pen to poke holes in the middle of the dent. Make them tiny, but numerous. Next, poke a large hole on the side. Take off the tab and use a lighter to heat the smoking area and the side of the can on the opposite side. This will vaporize any chemicals that are on the inside of the can. Scrape the paint off the two areas as well. Finally, place your cannabis on the holes, put your mouth to the drinking hole, and use your thumb to cover the hole you made in the side of the can. Light the cannabis, let the can fill with smoke, and inhale!
Apple Pipe
This is a tasty way to smoke without any glass or papers. Take an apple and remove the stem. Carve a hole in the top, one near the bottom on the apple, and one on the side of the apple. Widen the top hole to make a bowl to hold the cannabis.
3. You’ve got “cottonmouth” / dry mouth
The vast majority of stoners experience cottonmouth at some point. When you’re smoking weed, it’s pretty much inevitable. Fortunately, there’s a simple solution: Drink water, suck on a mint, or eat some sour candy. To prevent future discomfort, always drink water while smoking. This will also prevent headaches and fatigue.
4. You get ash on your clothes
You’re smoking a blunt, relaxing, and zoning out. You forget to ash the blunt and, next thing you know, a pile of ash falls onto your pants. You quickly wipe the ash away, only to reveal a gray smudge left behind. The solution? Never wipe the ash that falls. Just blow it away.
If you do get ash on your clothes, remove it by turning the clothing inside out and flushing the ashy spot under cold water. Let the water run through the stain until all of the ashes come out. Blot the area with rubbing alcohol to remove any residual stain. Launder.
5. You can’t find the lighter
You’re ready to sesh. You’ve got your music playing, the bowl is packed, and you’ve got snacks ready for when the munchies hit. You get ready to light the bowl…only to realize you don’t have your lighter. Now, everything is less than perfect. The solution to this is to not bring your favorite lighter to the circle, as this greatly increases the likelihood of it getting accidentally pocketed. Another good rule of thumb is to always have at least a few lighters around, so you will have a backup in times like this. A final solution is to superglue a magnet to your bong and keep your lighter on that.
6. Your lighter got wet
Smoking in the bath or pool seems like a ton of fun – until you drop your lighter in the water. This can be a real downer, especially if you only have one and cannot conveniently go get another. As you may know, the lighter will often dry out on its own. However, you can restore function to most Bic lighters by quickly striking the wheel continuously until you see sparks and, then, a flame. This works most effectively on lighters that have had the safety removed. While the flame may be weak and spark a lot at first, it will usually create a strong enough flame to light a bowl or blunt.
7. You don’t know what to smoke next
This is one of the biggest stoner problems we face. You’ve smoked so many strains, some of them are fire, and some of them are not-so-great. How do you know what to smoke next? Read this post for a guide on choosing a strain.
8. You’ve got stoner eyes
While the red-eye stereotype is quite common and certainly valid, the more experienced stoners will usually get a more glazed look than red eyes. However, this can be just as loud as an announcement that you’ve been smoking. The solution? Eye drops will clear away redness and glaze from your eyes, though overuse of eye drops is not good for you. If you are a regular smoker, it will likely take a lot to turn your eyes red or make them super glazed, because of your tolerance. Accordingly, it’s best to not get stoned out of your mind before walking among the non-stoner folk out there.
9. You’ve got the munchies
Cannabis has been shown to confuse the signals in your brain, so you think you’re hungry rather than full. And, while many people use cannabis to stimulate appetite, not everyone is in favor of having a voracious appetite whenever they smoke. To stop the munchies, drink some peppermint tea. This will make you feel satiated, so you don’t feel hungry. Additionally, the scent of peppermint suppresses the appetite and reduces cravings. To prevent the munchies in the future, eat prior to smoking, or enjoy strains that are rich in CBD or THCV.
10. You’re going to a sesh and have too much to carry
Honestly, going to a sesh can be a pain sometimes. You’ve got to pack up the cannabis, your bong, a grinder, a lighter, and maybe even a tray. It can be a lot to carry. The solution? A tote bag that shows the world you’re proud to be a stoner, but that also fits everything you need to carry. Use a container grinder to keep your cannabis in when going to seshes.
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